I’ve always thought that being friends is a give and take relationship; of shared benefit and cooperation. I’ve taken a somewhat twisted understanding of friendship and has likened to such a relationship of me using someone and that person using me back. As harsh as the word ‘use’ sounds in the previous sentence, it’s something that we all do to our friends. But we, or our friends, don’t mind because we’re friends. You can substitute the word ‘use’ with ‘help’ if you disagree but it basically boils down to the same thing.
But apparently, there are other types of thinking of the definition of ‘friends’ among my fellow colleagues. One which has been bugging me, is the one-way friendship: I can use you but you can’t use me back. Why can’t I use you back? Due to a lot of reasons. First off, because I don’t have anything to contribute. Second, because I don’t feel like contributing and third, why should I contribute?
Cuz like, we’re friends right? And like, you’re supposed to help me get on my feet, wake me up in the morning to tell me I have to go to class, wait for me when I’m 30 minutes late, drive me to class, back me up every time I get into trouble, answer all the questions the lecturer asks to me, study for me, take exams for me, fill in my log book for me, remind me to study, drive me to the nearest restaurant for me to have my lunch and dinner and tuck me up in bed every night.
I don’t mind doing this if you did the same thing to me, though tucking me in bed every night seems a bit overdoing it but still.
And when I, or any of your friends, don’t do any of the above, you start blaming us.
Oh, I’m really sorry I didn’t study for you and have to be your personal tutor. I’ve been very busy lately with, oh, I don’t know, studying for myself.
I thought contributing back to someone who helped you is common sense. Let me give you a very good example: I’ve driven you to eat out and took you to class for the past few days, wouldn’t it be sensible for you to offer yourself to drive next time? I would totally understand if you yourself have no mode of transport (like your car was busted or someone else in the family has to use it) and absolutely must car pool with us, you’re more than welcome. But you take me for a blind person, like, I don’t know or won’t be able to see that you have a perfectly usable car in which you almost never offer to drive us anywhere for what ever bullcrap reasons you’re trying to make up.
What? You think my car runs on dreams and the power of friendship? Or my anger?
The issue of car pooling is a very serious and sensitive right now.
Ironically, you’re actually someone who continues on and on about how friends should help each other out. I call bullcrap. You’re being a massive parasite to other people. Not just me, but to everyone around you. I would go so far as to say that you may be having some sort of personality/psychiatric disorder if you can’t even figure something like this. As well as the fact that you don’t realize or just purposely disregarding the fact that everyone does not like you anymore. And I’m not even exaggerating.
I actually sympathize with you, you know. I know how it feels to have people talking behind your back and generally being avoided. But that was because I was the new kid, and all sorts of rumors got the better of everyone as they thought I was someone who shot the living daylights out of random passers-by as a hobby. But you’re the person who doesn’t want to change. I don’t know how many million times, or how many people have actually confronted you about this. And how may times you’ve cried because someone pointed out your attitude of being a total jerk. But I can’t take it anymore.
One more thing.
You lied to me didn’t you. Not once, not twice.
Trust. Relationship. Bonds. Friendship. Down the toilet. You naughty child.
Now it comes down to the main topic. How do I tell that person to get lost and never talk to me anymore.
This is a delicate situation. Now, some of you might be thinking I’m such a bad person for ‘memutuskan silaturrahim‘ and such and make it sound like that person is not salvageable. Great. Then you be can friends with that person and go through the hell that I just did so that I don’t have to. Case solved. But it’s actually not the same, truth be told. Being friends with someone like this and not actually having to live with them and work together with them is different.
Back on topic. When we were kids, you can just simply say ‘aku tanak kawan ngan kau‘ and things will be done. But now that were adults (so-called adults) running my mouth like that might actually have a recoil effect on me. And also, it’s not like if I tell that person to ‘get lost’, he or she will get lost entirely. I still have to see that person everyday and it’s going to be awkward with avoiding eye contact and sudden changes in attitude in the other person’s presence. Should I like, sit down and slow talk with that person and dissect each and every fact as to why s/he’s a jerk and you don’t deserve friends? I bet you’ll cry and start making all sorts of promises to improve yourself so that we can still be friends. Like you always do but never fulfill any of those empty promises. In fact, crying doesn’t mean anything to you does it? And you make the word sorry sound meaningless.
Should I just get this over with and just tell the person that ‘I hate you. Get lost.’
Imagine if someone came up to me and said ‘I hate you, get lost’.
Thanks for viewing~
Sorry for any wrongdoings of mine~
And have a nice day~